Friday, May 4, 2012

Scarry Potter - The Graveyard

Scarry Potter, bound firmly to the headstone stared with a mixed feeling of agony and
curiousness. The dark lord rose from the dead moment ago. His scar was paining like
 never before. He saw the blurred outlines of Wormtail (with only one arm) and the
Darklord at a short distance. The port key - the Triwizard cup which was the only way
out, was lying a few meters away alongside Cedric's frozen body.

If only he could just touch it ...
Darklord: Ah ... it feels nice to be back but why am I wearing my robe backwards Wormtail?
Wormtail: It's not your robe master. I think your head is twisted the other way.
Darklord: Tut tut. Proff. Quirell has indeed left me with some bad habits ... let's get this right,
 shall we? (and twists his head back to normal)

He turns to Potter "We shall have our business in a moment. First lets get some 
audience. Summon the death eaters! Give me your hand Wormtail"
Wormtail: No way... I already lost one. How am I supposed to cut the other one? With my teeth?
Darklord: It is to make a call to the death eaters you fool. OK, I shall rely on WWS (Wireless 
Wand Service - for those who do not know). Give me your wand.

He picks up the wand and tries to get in touch with the death eaters. Each of them
responded by arriving at the spot. All except one - which said  
"The wizard you are calling is currently busy ... Please stay on the spell or try later"

The summoned death eaters, all wearing masks gather around in a circle.
A death eater: (whispers) It's so dark in here.
2nd one: Shh ... Thats why they call him the dark-lord. Are you a new recruit?
1st one: Yes. By the way did you notice that he has no ears?
2nd one: Because he's the snake guy. He's partially deaf. Wait a minute. You are the wand maker,
aren't you?
1st one: Shh ... How did ya know?
2nd one: You have not removed the price tag from your wand yet.
1st one: (chuckles) Picked one from the shelf as soon as I got the call.
2nd one: OK. Now keep quiet.

Darklord meanwhile turning back to Scarry Potter. "So we meet again"
Potter: (screams in agony) Aaaaargh my scar Painss ...
Darklord: Haha even my dog paints. I am the greatest wizard of all time!
Death Eater: (whispers) Poor guy is deaf indeed!

Meanwhile Potter instinctively thinks about the last meeting between the two back in the
 chamber of secrets. He remembers how Dumbledore's name got the better of Tom Riddle
 and how Dumbledore helped him escape the chamber. He goes back at it again.
Potter: . Nope. You ain't the best. Dumbledore was always better (and thinks) "I hope that old 
man send in something useful this time"
Darklord: (heat rising within) Dumbledore ... Dumbledore ... We'll see how he's gonna get you
out this time. Let's duel and finish it off

Meanwhile ... at Dumbledore's office.
Dumbledore: (to Fawkes the pheonix): Shoo Shooo birdie ... go and help him.

Fawkes is not interested.
Dumbledore: Okay so I guess that's the end of Potter. End of Plan A. I should start thinking about Plan B.

Back in the graveyard both of them are getting ready for the duel. They stand facing each
Potter: (remembering) There's Expeliarrmus, E-X-P-P ... Oh great! how was that spelled? ...

Darklord: (announces) No body shall interfere. People shall remember this day as the day, the dark
 lord, who died, lived and the boy who lived when the dark lord died - well died!

The death eaters look at each other... and applause (all except Wormtail of course)
Darklord: (whispers to the guy next to him) Hey you ... How was that green light spell used?
Death Eater: "Swish the wand at your enemy like this (points to the guy next to him who is waving
back saying "No NO ..." ) and say - Avada Kedavra - with intention." (the other guy
 falls over dead)

The duel begins.
Darklord: Avvvada Kedavraaaa!

A green stream of light hits Potter's wand at full speed. The wand replies automatically
with a golden jet of light. The whole area brightens up and the wands stay connected by a
golden thread of light.

After a few seconds of extreme wand action, the darklord's wand starts showing signs of
weaknesses. Something materializes out of the wand and takes up the shape of Cedric.
He's followed by the old fellow Frank and later James.

(wands are still connected by the thread of light)
Potter: Hi Dad... What's happening?
Not sure but I guess his wand is regurgitating. We are coming back in the reverse order
that we got killed. Your mom is on her way. Just hold on.
Thats not right. You got killed before my mom. So she should be coming out first?
James: She's been dressing up like for two hours. Women you know ... (giggles and stops as
Lily arrives just then)

Meanwhile the darklord is totally confused at the wand behavior: "Can someone tell me 
what is happening?"

The wandmaker steps forward.

"The thing is that the wand you are holding does not belong to you and your wand 
owner's mother married that boy's father's first cousin. So in theory his wand becomes
the Uncle-wand of your wand and so your wand is kinda helpless against the wand 
of his."
Can you explain in detail?

Wand maker gives him a mean stare: "Your wand is sick"

Suddenly everybody hears that awful sound of the wand regurgitating again.... GWAAA!
Aw poor thing! Someone help him. Bring him some bucket or something.
Team Scarry: (shouts) "This is your moment"
Hey you, If you break the connection I can give him this bucket over here.
Darklord: (pulls away the wand) OK boy, here you go, the connection is broken. Get the bucket.
Wormtail: That's funny. I thought that was the port key.
Darklord: What??? Noooo ... Stop himm ...

Scarry dives over the portkey... The death eaters dive over Scarry ... Voldemort, well ...
dives over Wormtail.

The End.